Merry Fking Christmas!
by FanFreak2002
Summary: Yes, Halloween is Casey Macdonald's favorite time of year, but feeling that Christmas cheer in the air makes her want to bash her head in. Kind of angsty, but kind of sweet in the end. Up to you.


Casey groaned, it was seven in the morning, and Marti had already started singing jingle bells at the top of her lungs. But Casey countered it with a blast from her stereo. It was Christmas, for a whole day. Casey knew why all those people killed themselves today. No one in the household noticed her change of moods during this month, merely passing it off as a hormonal imbalance. Well, except Lizzie. She didn't know why it happened, but she always noticed it when it did. And every year she tried to wield Casey's mind away from what day it was.

Even on a day like this when you're crawling on the floor. Reaching for the phone to ring, anyone who knows you anymore.

"Casey, will you come down to eat please," Lizzie was pleading on the other side of the door. Casey groaned again, not bothering with how she looked. She sat down at her usual spot. "Nice look," Derek said with a smirk. "Suck it," was her only response. But it was enough to reel everyone back. She looked at her mother, who was having a loving moment with George, Casey was revolted with her. It was all her fault.

On Christmas two years ago her father killed himself. Put a gun in his mouth, and blew his brains out. He found out Nora was having an affair with George, and he couldn't stand to live with that inside of him. No one else knew the truth except Casey and Nora. Nora had told Lizzie he went to Europe to live with the Spanish, that one day he might be back.

The lies, they made Casey's blood boil, as she leapt from the table. "I'm going to go with Casey," said Lizzie. "Lizzie you already promised me you'd help me with my briefing," said Nora over her glass. Casey heard it from the stairs, this is what her mother wanted out her as well, why not give her a last minute gift for the night? And she jostled the rest of the way up the stairs, and slamming her door.

"But mom," Lizzie whined, trying to etch her way from the table. "No buts Lizzie you already promised. Lizzie sat down looking over at the stairs. "I'll go check on her," Derek said, looking at Lizzie, her eyes pleading.

Staring at the same four walls, have you tried to help yourself? The rings around your eyes, they don't hide that you need to get some rest.

Casey took the shoe box from her closet, extracting the tiny colt she had taken from Emily's house. They wouldn't know it was gone, not until tomorrow when it would be too late. All the books and experts say girls are most likely to overdose or slash their wrists so they might have a chance of getting caught. Because all they wanted was a little bit of help. Casey scowled, she didn't need any help, she knew exactly what she was doing.

Even at a time like this when the morning seems so far. Think the pain belongs to you, but it happens to us all.

She pointed the gun to her temple, but before she could cock it, Derek was wrestling her to the floor. She tried to grab the gun away from him, but the tears came at her too fast. "I just wanted to be with my daddy, I just wanted to be with my daddy." Derek cradled her fragile form, as she bawled into his neck.

You brought this on yourself, and it's high time you left it there. Lie here, and rest your head, and dream of something else instead.

"I know how you feel Casey." He rocked her gently. "How? How the hell could you possibly know?" "Because two Christmases ago my mother killed herself too." Casey pulled away, looking at him through tear filled eyes. How did he find out? She had never told anyone about it, and neither had her mother." Why did she kill herself?" "She found out my dad was cheating on her with Nora. I think about doing the same thing every damn Christmas too." Tears leaked from his eyes, and they sobbed in each other's arms. Making an unspoken bond between them. And an extreme hatred for Nora and George. Because unlike a lot of other times, this was all their parents fault. And they could never be forgiven for that.

It's all right to make mistakes you're only human, inside everybody's hiding something. Take time to catch your breath and choose your moment. Don't Slide.

**You know I don't own anything, except the plot. And of course please R&R. If it's possible I'm thinking about taking requests for one-shots.**


End file.
